Funny Valentine Poems

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Funny Valentine Poems

On Valentines Day The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream "I'm sweet on you!" While the pencil said to the paper "I dot my i's on you!" And the light bulb asked his girlfriend Do I mean a whole watt to you?"

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On Valentines Day The bat said to his girlfriend "You're fun to hang around with." And the paper clip said to the magnet? "I find you very attractive."

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Collards is green, yer eyes ain't blue I am so lucky to have a darlin' like you. Ya kin strip a motor in just few minutes And still have time to go hunt supper and even skin it. We go together like a skunk and stink Ever time I see ya my eye starts to wink. Yer love fer me is like a roll of duct tape Ya hold me together each time I break.

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Love me little , love me long. You say to me that your affections are strong. Love me little, love me long. Pray love me little, so you love me long.

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"Oh will you be my wallaby?" Asked Mr. Kangaroo. "For we could find so very many Jumping things to do. I have a pocket two feet wide And deep inside, My dear, you'd ride--- Oh, come and be my bouncing bride, My Valentine, my side-by-side I am in love with you."

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I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

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If you won't be my Valentine
I'll scream, I'll yell, I'll bite.
I'll cry aloud, I'll start to whine
If you won't be my Valentine.
I'll frown and fret, I'll mope and pine, and
It will serve you right
If you won't be my Valentine
I'll scream, I'll Yell, I'll Bite!

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I said to you, "Oh, please be mine;
Be mine forever, Valentine."
I must have seemed like quite a fool,
Although I thought I was being cool.
I swore that we would never part,
As I put my hand upon my heart.
Had I been thinking with my head,
I probably would have fled instead.

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You're sucrose, you're glucose,
You're fructose and more,
From your head to your feet...
Which are stuck to the floor.
You're Hershey's, you're Snickers,
You're sweet English Toffee.
If you spit in my cup,
You'll just sweeten my coffee.
I love you so much
That I'm getting frenetic,
But I can't even kiss you,
'cause I'm diabetic.

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It's Valentine's day,
And it's really quite silly;
My feelings are switching around
Willy-nilly.
I'm happy, SO happy!
Then I'm feeling SO sad;
I'm gloomy, I'm joyful
Oh man, this is bad!
My body is clammy,
Then I'm in a deep sweat;
Sometimes I'm giddy,
Sometimes I fret.
What is the reason
For all the above?
It's Valentine's Day,
And I'm SO in love!

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At last,you've found a lover
Do you know what rhymes with that?
Hover,cover,smother..
It's a trap,it's a trap,it's a trap.

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Valentine, you make me silly;
You make my heart beat willy-nilly;
When I'm with you, the world is hazy;
Valentine, you drive me crazy!
Valentine, when we're apart,
My need for you goes off the chart.
Will you be mine? Can I be thine?
Say you'll be my Valentine!

By Joanna Fuchs

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For months I've sat and held it in,
It choked inside and hurt like sin.
It made me sweat and steam and stew,
Whenever I caught sight of you.
Thank goodness Valentine's Day has come;
If I held it longer, it would strike me dumb.
This day I'll say it, come rain or shine...
Will you be my Valentine?

By Karl Fuchs

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You're in my thoughts and in my heart
Wherever I may go;
On Valentine's Day, I'd like to say
I care more than you know.

By Joanna Fuchs

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Hey you--you're often on my mind;
You're a terrific person, one of a kind.
I'm sending this poem, because I want to say
I'm thinking of you on Valentine's Day!
By Joanna Fuchs

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"My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
you make me smile with my heart
your looks are laughable, un photographable
yet you're my favorite work of art"

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Funny Valentine Poems

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