Funny Christmas Poems

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Funny Christmas Poems

Eat up, it is Christmas time, food is going amok: Turkey, peas, potatoes, and dressing perhaps even a duck. It's OK, eat away: Corn, gravy, cranberries, ham. Eat up, it is Christmas day: Salad, rolls, butter and jams. Eat up, it is Christmas time: Chips, bean dip, carrots, peas. You must do it, it is the season. Grape juice, milk, teas and coffee. You can not refuse; there is no reason: Cake, gum, chocolate, candy. The year is ending, never fear. New Years Eve will soon be here All resolutions will be listed in play. A diet awaits you the very next day.

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Once upon a time, I made a wish while holding a dime, "I wish Santa come here on Christmas Put something special on my socks". So every night, I watch out for Santa, Waiting for a huge guy with huge belly to show up. Then one night, my wish came true. I saw someone huge near on my socks, Putting something there, I was shocked it was my DAD!

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Christmas at the office Is just like any other day Let's face up to it You end up doing all the work And the fat guy in the suit Gets all the credit

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I'm telling you husband that one Christmas song, Has made you think that you can do no wrong. So this year while your out with old Santa's sled, I am eloping, my dear, with your friend

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There's milk and cookies for Santa, And they look delicious to me. There are four on a plate on the mantel, And if I eat one, there will still be three.

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I made myself a snowball, As perfect as could be, I thought I'd keep it as a pet, And let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas, And a pillow for its head, Then last night it ran away, But first - it wet the bed!

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If Christmas is to children What my job is to me, Does that mean I should go to my boss And sit upon his knee?

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O Internet! O Internet! Thy profits are so changing; O Internet! O Internet! Thy profits are so changing; Not only high when summer's here, But also when 'tis cold and drear. O Internet! O Internet! Thy profits are so changing O Internet! O Internet!

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I will be gone on Christmas, You can count on that. There is no place like home on Christmas Especially if you're married to a dingbat.

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So long ago I left that house Everyone couldn't believe That Daddy's little girl would leave Saying I'd never return.

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Christmas was cups of tea served early morn
Christmas was being together
Christmas was loving from dusk until dawn
Christmas remembered forever
Christmas was driving through floods for the view
Christmas �our planning' was starting
Christmas our Christmas meant so much to me
Christmas our bitter sweet parting

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Santa Claus is coming; Santa will be here soon.
Look up at that big bright shining moon.
Oh, you said you were naughty this year?
Get out! Get out! I want Santa to come here!

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A chubby little snowman
had a carrot nose.
Along came a bunny,
and what do you suppose?
That hungry little bunny,
looking for some lunch,
Grabbed that snowman's nose,
Nibble,nibble,crunch!

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It was January the 1st
I turned over a new leaf
It was clean on the top side
But had bugs underneath.

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May your success be as wide as celtel coverage and grow like Comium
May your enemies fall like the Leone
May you never struggle as Sierratel and NPA
May your enemies never understand themselves like Kabba
May the Glory of God never depart from you as corruption refuses to depart from Sierra Leone
May your enemies never locate you as the police can't find Jonny Paul.
Happy New Year!

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My Papa is such a swell guy.
he's the best 'round Christmas time.
He maybe strict at certain times,
but he loves Christmas so much.
Papa is not a scrooge, but.
a jolly man.
He loves many thing like,
baseball, bowling, and others, but.
most of all his family.

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The merry family gatherings .
The old, the very young;

The strangely lovely way they.
Harmonize in carols sung.

For Christmas is tradition time.
Traditions that recall.

The precious memories down the years,
The sameness of them all.

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What does Santa bring for daddies,
Too old to want a toy?

Wallets, watches, ties, and sweaters.
Don't make for much joy.

What do daddies want for Christmas,
Really, in their hearts?

So perfect that they'd shriek like kids.
Once the shredding starts?

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It's Christmas time, and attention goes.
To the funny guy with his ho, ho, ho's.

Yes, we all know the reindeer story.
And hear the tales of Santa's glory.

But this will pass, and soon over town
The decorations will be coming down.

They'll be put away until next year.
When it's time again for Christmas Cheer.

So I am sticking with another old guy.
And I'm writing this to tell you why.

Old Santa's great one day, it's true,
But Grandpa's here the whole year through.

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At this time of year it is patently clear.
That the males are the ones who are blest.
Thoughts like "goodwill to men" we hear time and again.
And we find them quite hard to digest.

As we women all know, men think they run the show.
And sometimes we allow them this pause.
But it gets on our nerves, like too many hors d'oeuvres.
When we want to get at the main course.

Many times out of mind the same problem we find.
Leaving plans to the menfolk is risky.
Christmas spirit they think is some kind of a drink.
Such as vodka, Baccardi, or whiskey.

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I have been getting ready for Christmas.
I'm revving up for the great day.
my credit card's cracked and my freezer is packed.
Because I started my shopping in May.

The mistletoe's hanging in bunches.
. Because the odd Christmas kiss isn't wrong.
and the Vicar I've found - quite likes calling round.
and exploring my crowns with his tongue.

The bin men have gotten quite friendly.
They're after a present I fear.
They won't feel so chuffed when I tell them - get stuffed.
Because they don't speak the rest of the year.

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At Xmas time when we were kids.
We were bloody poor.
And Santa weren't too generous.
When he knocked upon our door.

But we made do by saving up.
Yes every little bit.
"We may be poor" said dear old Dad.
"But I dont give a shit!".

Our Xmas tree stood tall & proud.
And rigid as a totem.
With Xmas baubles hangin' there.....
like testies in ya scrotum!.

Everyone loved Xmas dinner.
No if's, and's or but's.
And all us kids would piss ourselves.
When Grandpa dropped his guts.

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I laugh a lot.
I can never stop.
That's just.
that;s who I am.
I can't go a day.
or even an hour.
without laughing.
or giggling.
My friends all.
know it.
But even if I've.
had the worst day.

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Funny Christmas Poems

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